I spent my weekend with the family, celebrating the wedding of my cousin Jackie and her now husband Adam. It was a much needed break from life – I’ve been pretty much non-stop since I got back from the beach at the end of July, and I was exhausted. And exhausted is putting it lightly.
The fact is, I’ve been doing way too much, and it started to take a toll on me. I haven’t been sleeping enough, I haven’t been getting the kinds of workouts that I needed, I’ve been taking on way too much … and it has left me beyond stressed. And when I get stressed, I have a tendency to turn to chocolate.
So, here’s the thing – it’s not only caught up to me mentally, but I have seen the number gradually creeping up on the scale, too. It’s not that I’m not working out, because I am. But I haven’t been feeling that I’ve been getting the results that I really want, and that number – about 5lbs. higher than it was two months ago, staring back at me this morning – just went to confirm what I think I already knew …
… it’s time to start making a little more time for me, and being more conscious of how I’m dealing with the stressors in my life. Yes, I’m working out six days a week, as I always do, but it only goes so far when you head home to the chocolate. The thing is, I don’t want it if I don’t see it – but when I get stressed beyond a normal level, the cravings refuse to go away (we’re talking all the fruit and vegetables and health food in the world wouldn’t make a dent. I could be completely full, but if I’m stressed, and a bag of chocolate chips is staring me in the face, I will down a handful).
It’s a problem – and I’m taking the first step now by recognizing it. I want to get back to where I was at the beginning of the year – I was at the best I have been in years, and I hate that I’ve gotten away from that (even if 5 lbs. is, in the grand scheme of things, not that big of a deal). And when I start to feel insecure about my body – perhaps I should say even more insecure than usual – it simply stresses me out more. So it’s time to take a stand, make a change and step away from the chocolate.