Tonight’s 7-Miler: An Internal Monologue (Holy ADD)

First of all, thank you so much for all of the kind comments, words of encouragement, and insight so many of you shared on yesterday’s post. I appreciate it more than you know! Today’s topic will be a LOT lighter …

We’re going with my internal monologue during today’s run. I ended up on a treadmill with a broken tv today (after passing on a blinking tv and a treadmill I’m fairly sure was running well-below actual speed), so I spent a lot more time than usual looking around and getting lost in my thoughts. It’s kind of amazing how much more my mind wanders when I don’t have the talking heads on ESPN to keep me company.

That said, here’s a little insight into what was going through my mind during today’s 7-miler (and yes, I felt like my mom with her ADD and something shiny…):

Ugh. Now this tv is broken. But I’m not getting on a 4th machine. Though I’m surprised I’d have other options in January.

Hey, my clavicle looks pretty cut in this tv screen. Awesome. Top of my shoulder doesn’t look so bad, either. Love it.

How is that girl running that fast and not sweating buckets? I’m drenched once I’m half a mile in.

I want to do at least five miles today. That’s a minimum. We’ll see how I feel.

Hey, my arm muscles look pretty good in that window. They don’t look like they’re jiggling. Good.

You know, I think he thought I was talking about something a lot deeper than I actually was.

Wow, traffic is getting pretty heavy outside.

That conversation really made me miss Pappap. I hope everything turns out okay – I know it’s hard.

Wow, it’s been 15 minutes already?

Helen’s right. I need to readdress this situation.

This first two miles felt pretty good. Maybe let’s make it 10k…

I wonder if people look at me like I’m crazy when I start mouthing the words to the songs on my ipod … at least I don’t dance around like that girl in that video my mother sent me last week?

And the mom next to me will probably walking for 20 minutes … I hate January …

I don’t know, all those signs are pretty obvious. Gotta listen to Helen and get my thoughts together.

Ew, I really don’t like the way my butt looks from the side. Is it really that big? Why must I do so many squats?

Maybe I need to call Anita’s angel lady again or something. I wish I just knew where my life was going …

Hey, my posture looks pretty good from the side. Nice relaxed upper body … shoulders down and back …

Almost to 5 miles. Feeling good. Feeling fast.

Mom over there is looking pretty good. She’s running 10 minute pace, about 2.5 miles in … kinda impressed. She surprised me. Maybe I shouldn’t judge people so much. I definitely shouldn’t judge people so much.

Why must even the narrow mouth Nalgene bottles still be hard to drink out of without spilling all over myself?

Anita cracks me up. She did say she felt good about 32 for me. I hope she’s right…

I should be to 6 miles by 54 minutes. That’s a 9-minute mile, right? Wow, I’m terrible at math. 9×5 is 45, so 9×6 has to be 54, right? Wow, I am a complete idiot.

I would love for Pappap to make an appearance in my dreams tonight and tell me if this was his plan, or if there’s another one coming … ugh, why can’t it be obvious?

I wonder if people look at me weird when I end up with water dripping down my chin … maybe it makes me look hardcore. I don’t know. I don’t care.

So how is mom running wearing glasses? I could never do it. They fog up immediately. And fall of my face.

Holy fog on the corner of those windows. I can’t even see outside anymore. Probably my fault…

I really need to think about something other than this situation. I still don’t know what to think. Maybe he’s scared… STOP THINKING SO MUCH.

I’m at 6 miles at 52:15? Huh. Maybe I’ll hit 6.2 by 54. Cool.

Wait a minute … if I’m going to have a dream about Pappap, I’d have to actually remember my dreams. I never remember my dreams. This could be a problem.

Ugh, I’m such a freaking girl.

Eh, might as well do 6.5.

I really, really do not like the way my butt looks in this window.

4 straight miles, mom? Consider me impressed.

I made it to 6.5, I might as well go to 7.

Ooh, I want to put this song on my Spinning playlist this week. Haven’t done that one in a while.

Almost there. Almost there. Keep running. You are not old. Keep running.

7 down. 61 minutes. DONE. I love when I run more than I plan on running.

So … as you can see … me on the treadmill without the crazy dudes on ESPN to keep me company can be kind of dangerous. It was the weirdest thing – I was obviously focused and locked in on my run, changing up my pace, thinking about my breathing, but my brain? Total ADD. But even with the million thoughts running through my head, I still felt great when I was done. There is truly nothing better than a great run when you have a lot on your mind!

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11 thoughts on “Tonight’s 7-Miler: An Internal Monologue (Holy ADD)

  1. Um, I have ADHD and proud of it. Hope you dream of Papap. He was a kind and gentle soul 🙂 Also, you always have to have a dream. Mine is SC with my enclosed pool. I am proud of you darlin’ in what ever you do. Thanks for the compliment. Oh, Anita has a boat…

    • I didn’t remember any of my dreams again last night, sadly … but I also slept really badly (just kept waking up). You know what my dreams are. They really should be more attainable than they have been to this point…

    • Thanks – trust me, it took me YEARS to get as fast as I am today … I remember when I thought a 10-minute mile was unattainable 😉 Goes to show constantly playing with the treadmill speed works!! I’m telling you, though, my thoughts were ALL OVER the place last night…

  2. I admire you. Everytime I used to try to run, I tried my best to get my ADHD to kick in…but all that keeps going through my head is “I hate running, I really hate this. Why isn’t that chick huffing and puffing? I can’t stand this…I am huffing and puffing. I need somewhere private to run. I hate running. But maybe in the woods on a good trail. I hate the treadmill. There is no cheese at the end…was I a rodent in a past life? God I hate running…” lol!

    As for dreams, I kept a notebook next to my bed and the second I woke up, I would start writing what I remembered; it is all still juuust lingering when you first wake up. Other details come back as you write. Then, if you are like me, you will go back and read it all later and wonder “What the….did I eat something weird before bed?? Because….wow. Just wow.” And don’t worry, your Papap is most definitely in your dreams. Mine is, often (I discovered that after writing it all down).

    Loved reading all that goes through your head as you run!! Made me grin!!

    • Aw, thanks! Trust me, it took some time for me to outgrow the “I hate running” – but I’m so glad I did, because nothing compares (and I do a LOT of other stuff, too).

      I’m still trying to master sleeping until my alarm goes off … maybe I’m roused more than I realize, thus the problem? I honestly can’t even remember the last time I remembered a dream. I blame too much stress and too many things on my mind.

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