… but not in the way you anticipated.
I went into the gym tonight with every intention of running about three miles to start my workout. My body – and my brain – clearly had a different idea.
Let me back up a little bit here. As you may or may not have figured out, my life has been a little all over the place since I returned from vacation in July. Yes, the gym has, as always, been my one constant, and my sanity. But I’ve changed jobs (good move). Had my not-quite-relationship-but-sure-as-hell-felt-like-one end (again … and while it was right, it was still heartbreaking). Gained a new roommate (seriously good upgrade).
Through it all, you would think what has always been my solace, my me-time, my stress relief, (if I need to translate, it’s a nice, long run) would see me through. But since I got back from vacation two – yes, TWO – months ago, my runs have SUCKED. We’re talking, having to talk myself into finishing three miles. Feeling like I wanted to die every second of it.
So imagine my surprise when, tonight, as I dragged my exhausted butt into the gym (yes, the new job was a great move, but this working all day, five days a week is tiring!! The good news: sleeping like a baby for a change. Crap. It’s 45 minutes to bedtime. Please don’t let me have just jinxed myself), convinced that I could make it through three lousy miles before moving on to a little shoulder work … and kept going. For four miles. Then five. Then six. Then an extra half, just for good measure. And I felt like I could have kept going, if I really felt like it. For the first time in a long time, I stopped running because I’d gotten bored … not because my body or my heart rate or my breathing told me that I needed to stop. I felt good. I felt strong. I felt … like it was about dang time!
I guess my point here is that while I’m a huge believer that our heads are often what tells us to quit before our bodies really need to, sometimes we can surprise ourselves. I fully anticipated another sub-par run this evening, but when I found my groove, and just let myself go, my head started telling me today was the day I got back to form. Today is the day I forget about the chaos that has been my life throughout the last two months, even if it was only for an hour. Today was the day I ran like I was supposed to run.